Me: Hey, porkchop.
Scarlett: I am not porkchop. I'm Scarlett!
Chris: Are you Daddy's porkchop?
Scarlett: No, I'm Mommy's porkchop.
*****
Me: Scarlett, is your last name Schwegmann?
Scarlett: I am not Schwegmann. You are Schwegmann!
*****
Me: Scarlett, where is Daddy?
Scarlett: I don't know.
Me (said in an exaggerated game show voice; I thought it would be funny to teach her to say this, but no luck): He's in Washington D.C., our nation's capital!
Scarlett (after a dramatic pause spent looking at me like I'm nuts): He's at work, silly.
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